A Letter to My Parents

Today, after a hectic day, I went to a quiet place far away from people to do some personal reflection. This is something which I enjoy doing and perhaps, I ought to do more often. Spent some time thinking through many things.

One of the things that stood out most is how much I appreciate the good life that I have. For the last couple of days, I have been meeting up with a few friends, and the sad thing is, they don't see how good their lives are. They complain and complain, but they don't realize that they have it good.

It's even sadder, when I look at myself, that I am culprit of the same crime. But here's the thing, I do appreciate the good life. I'm very, very fortunate to have awesome parents like you who have worked so hard to bring us up and enable us to live the way we want. Not many people can have the luxury of doing that. I'm very fortunate to be able to study in a world class institution like the University of Chicago and have the opportunity to see the world. Truly, I have it good. And I know that the good life may not last as the only constant in the world is change. This is why I am all the more grateful of it.

The problem lies in the fact that I rarely show it. I do realize I complain a lot too - the grass is greener on the other side as they say. I guess this is human nature - we love to complain, we always look on the bad side of things. But I do appreciate my good life a lot. And of course, this is all thanks to you. There are not many times when I have shown my appreciation, so here's one of them: Thank you so much for everything that you've done for me. I do realize that you have put in a lot - a lot of stress, a lot of hard work, a lot of effort into raising us kids and to making sure we have a good life. It's not easy sacrificing so much just for us.

Hence, from now on, I will do my best to complain less, and to make sure I show my appreciation more often. But the main message of this email is to tell you, yes, I am very grateful to the both of you for giving me only the very best. I do realize I have things good, and I do really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

Love
Adrian

Mindfulness

Mind is fickle, always changing, always distracted.
Mind is like the flicker of a candle, it is never the same yet we treat it as such.
Yet, we realize not that our minds are constantly changing.
We bulldoze through our daily life without regards to what we think.
We realize not that negative thoughts always pop up in our heads.
We realize not that our intent is evil.
We realize not that we wish to please others for the wrong purpose.
Ego, hatred, anger, jealousy, bitterness, sadness.
All these stem from the fact that we do not pay attention to them.
We allow them to multiply.
We feel it, but we do not investigate the source of the feeling.
The source is not in the external.
It is in the internal.
Anger does not stem from the object you are annoyed at.
Anger stems from your mind.
We realize not that this is so.
Perhaps it is time to reflect.
Time to investigate.
Time to experience for yourself.
Be mindful.

Touched

There I sat. The piano in front of me. The sun shining through the window. The wind blowing in. Notes playing against a background of construction noises as I tried out a new tune.

I stopped. Someone was watching me. Listening to me. I turned back to see who my unknown spectator was. I blinked. When I opened my eyes, I saw a girl at the door, a man behind her.

The girl was young, not more than 7 or 8 years old. She was very pretty. But something was different. She was carrying a cane. Tap. Tap. I realized. She was blind.

She came in. I said hi.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm playing the piano."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure. Come on over."

She walked over, guided by the sound of my voice. As she came closer, I guided her towards the piano chair. Her father, smiling, sat at one of the lounge sofas.

I carried and put her on the chair beside me. "You play very well"

"Thank you. Would you like to hear another song?"

"Yes please."

And so I played.

"Thank you. You know, when I was young I didn't know how to play the piano but now I do."

"Really? I would love to hear you play. Go ahead."

So she played. Beautiful music. My eyes swelled. My heart opened up right there. There she was, a young, pretty girl, barely 8, blind yet playing tunes that went right through me.

She stopped. Looked at me. Smiled the most beautiful smile. I smiled back.

"Go on."

And the beautiful music continued.

We sat there for a while, she playing, me stunned. She stopped, walked over to her father. I met him. We talked.

I asked for the time. I had to leave. Her father asked her for one more song. I guided her to the piano. She played again. Beautiful. I thanked her. She thanked me. I smiled. She somehow knew.

I said goodbye. She looked at me. She smiled. That smile. That beautiful smile. I left, feeling joyful. More so than I've ever been in a while.

I've been touched.

Sigh

All of you who are special to me, I will miss you.

Intention

One thing I realize about many people is that they do things without checking their intentions. What may seem to be the right action, if originating from wrong intentions, is wrong. What may seem to be the wrong action, if originating from right intentions, is alright. What are the right actions with the right intentions, are fantastic! In short, always do things with the right motivations.

And so, I wonder - do I do what I preach? Do I check my intentions? Do I do things with the right goals & motivations? Looking inside, I can say without a doubt that although I have done things with the wrong intention in the past, I have gotten a lot better as I grew older, as I matured. In the last year or so, I can say that about 99.99% of the actions I have taken have been done with the right intention. Whether these actions were right given the situation I cannot say - I am sure that I have made many wrong decisions, but I can say that these decisions were done with the right intentions.

What about you? Have you done things with the right intentions lately? When was the last time you checked and thought about it?

Confused

This could be the result of having

a) 3 hours of sleep for 2 nights
b) fever
c) cough
d) sore throat
e) massive head aches
f) congested sinus pathways
g) too much red bull

but right now, I'm feeling like a confused idiot... So many mixed feelings popping up here and there... One moment I'm numb... Another I'm happy... Another I'm angry... What's up with me?

Guess I just need sleep. And some reflection. And... Oh I don't know, I'm just confused...

It'll be over soon... Over... Soon...

Old Age

Have you wondered what it feels like to be old?

To have lost all your loved ones?

To have lost all your friends?

To be neglected by your family members?

To be treated as a problem in the household?

To be alone?

Please, cherish your old loved ones, before it's too late. One day, you'll be in that position too. Youth does not last forever.