Thursday, September 30, 2010

Well Said

This was written in response to a forum post by an ENFP who was worried because people thought he was gay:

One of the things you need to remember is that the ENFP male is the rarest of the MBTI types. We are males that act based on emotion, are very altruistic and like to help people, and are sensitive to other people's feelings and needs. So from a male perspective, we are often seen as feminine, weak, and very often times called gay even though we aren't. Characteristics such as being sensitive to peoples feelings and needs are not characteristics common in the ideal alpha male. Since are personality type is not conductive to the social norm of the alpha male, we are seen as weak, which also will runs side by side with being gay.

I bet you probably have a lot of good female friends as well don't you? In college I went though the same thing, everyone constantly told me that I was gay that I almost convinced myself that I was: except that I don't like guys, I like girls.

Eventually you will come to terms wtih yourself, and it took me until my junior year of college to figure this out. Be comfortable with who you are - Yes we may be feminine, are sensitive to the feelings of others, and don't enjoy treating people badly. Come to terms with who you are inside and be happy with it. I still get teased and called gay every once in a while, but I know I'm not and I'm comfortable with that. Look at all of the strengths we have though: EVERYONE LIKES US. We are the social buterflies of the world, the networkers, and everyone likes us. I have a theory that if someone doesn't like me, there is a problem with them, not me. Everyone I know likes me becuase I am a good person who treats people respectfully and fairly. We have huge hearts and love to be loved at the same time.

You said that you don't like men - well you are probably not gay then. First you need to be comfortable with who you are and recognize that you are you. People like you for who you are, and who cares if people think that you are gay. You have more friends, are better networked, and long term people will keep you in their lives because you are a genuine friend who will stick with them through anything. Once you do come to terms with yourself, be confident and don't worry about what other people think. Everything will start to work out itself from there.