Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Woo! I'm so excited over elections!

I wonder, will BN retain their 2/3 majority?

Only time will tell..

Sunday, February 24, 2008


It struck me again that I have positively and definitely screwed up my academics this quarter due to a number of personal reasons... Not a good start to my university life and future career...

But it's alright... That's how life works, and I have confidence that things always work out in the end... Just gotta pick myself up and keep going... And enjoy the things I learn about life along the way...


To Sher

To one of the best buddies I'll ever love (and hate... you know what I mean... =P),


Big girl already... Must take care of yourself k?

Haha, I really hope you'll have a grand day ahead!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Reflection of the Day

Woke up this morning at 7:50 and went to Ratner with Brandon. Went to the basketball court and did our individual Wushu routines.

Haha, after 9 months of not practicing my routine properly, I realize that I have lost so much - the actual routine itself, the small nuances, the proper breathing etc.

What does it tell me? It reminds me that without daily practice, a person will lose a particular skill or habit that he once had. This applies to many other things too. Thinking through, there have been many good things that I have failed to apply into my life daily and practice since coming here to America.

Hence, I will do my best to make it a point to begin practicing some of these things that I have lost. It will not be easy, neither will progress be fast but I will still do my best, as these are things that I believe in.


Friday, February 22, 2008


Words, so easy to say them, but so hard to take them back. One word can change a person's perception of everything forever.

So why do we not think before we speak? Why do say such harsh things sometimes? Why do we lie?

I hope to find the answer someday.

You Are Not Alone

How many times have you felt that you're the only person left in this world?

How many times have you thought that noone could understand you?

How many times have you wanted that someone special to look at you, offer you a hand, and lift you back up?

Many a time, I'm sure.

But here's the thing, you're never alone. Somewhere out there, someone is there for you, someone does know you exist, someone does care.

So don't put yourself down. Just remember, you're never alone.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Sitting at the Burton lounge now typing my Social Science essay regarding religion and government.

Was at the Crerar library for a while attempting to write it but my mind was completely flustered and distracted. I was just staring at the screen blankly.

Decided to go back and follow my own advice for once. So I did the exercise that I blogged about last time. Then I sang - a lot. And I felt completely different after that. Suddenly, I could write.

So here I am, writing, feeling at peace, actually enjoying the process of writing my paper. Will it get a good grade? Well, it does matter somewhat, but most importantly, I'm enjoying myself - it's the journey that counts.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

True Happiness

What is true happiness? For the convenience of my meditation, I will define it as a sense of contentment that comes from within. Remember a moment when you felt that you were at peace with the world? When everything suddenly makes sense? When nothing in the world could bring you down? That's what I mean. Some describe this as the experience of feeling God's presence. Other's as an enlightening moment. Whichever the case, this is what I would call true happiness.

What is mundane happiness? Happiness that is obtained from external experiences, from materialistic pleasures. To put it simply, it is pleasure. Remember a moment when you felt exhilarated after getting extremely good results for your exams? A moment when you felt good after being given a present? A moment of satisfaction when you see someone else doing worse off than you? Yes, that is what I will define as mundane happiness or pleasure.

When comparing the two, realize that mundane happiness can be both good and bad. You are mundanely happy because you are comparing yourself with others. Got a marvelous present? Of course you are happy - noone else got it! Got excellent results? Fantastic - because not many people did better than you! So with this kind of happiness, you may be better off, but always at the expense of another. With true happiness however, there is no comparison. You are just content, at peace. There is no need to see others in relation to you. Hence, we can see that true happiness is better than mundane happiness in the sense that you can be happy without making someone worse off.

Furthermore, mundane happiness is only temporary. How long did your happiness last after obtaining those amazing grades? A day? A week? Okay, let's be generous and give it a year? Still, this kind of happiness does not last in the long run. Sooner or later, you will feel disastisfied again and look for more external objects to derive your happiness from. It's a never ending vicious circle of you pursuing happiness from material entities. What about true happiness? Well, it has the POTENTIAL to be permanent with the right mindset and training. Why? Because ultimately, you are gaining happiness from something that is within and is not dependent upon outside situations or goods. This something within you is constant, and does not change, unlike the external world, which you have no control of. Hence, true happiness is better than mundane happiness in the sense that it has the pontential to last far longer and does not require you to constantly pursue external objects.

So how can true happiness be achieved and what sort of mindset can we adopt to make it last? This is a difficult question which I have yet to attain a complete answer to. One method that I do know is to think more about your actions. Sit in a quiet spot so that you are not distracted. If you need to, try some breathing exercises to calm your mind down. Empty your mind of any prpblems or worries that you have. Once your mind is calm and you can think objectively without any distractions, think through about the things you have done and ask yourself why you have done them. See whether what you have done is truly right or wrong - or perhaps neither. This will give you a better perspective of things, and perhaps lead you to a moment of true happiness.

Now how can we prolong this moment? The next step then is to repeat what I've just shown you in real life, with all the distractions. This is the most difficult step - keeping a calm mind while going through your daily life. It's very hard, but it can be done - as countless other people have also done. THis requires much time and effort, you'll have to progress slowly and steadily. Start by doing it withouth distractions first for 5 minutes a day, and then slowly increasing the lenght of time. Then once you can do it for a comfortably long lenght of time, try it out in the real world. It take's much time and effort, but as we discussed earlier, definitely worth it. Give it a try, and let me know whether it works for you! I would love to hear the results.

A question I would like to address. So does attaining true happiness mean that we no longer have to care about the world? NO! Contentment does not mean complacency. It does not mean you do not have to do your best. What it does mean is that once you've done your best, be happy. No need to complain or grumble or compare something that has already been done because you know you've given it your best shot.

Contentment also does not mean not planning ahead. You should plan ahead yes, but be flexible. Be content with whatever outcome that happens. Neither does contentment mean you do not have to care for others.

The funny thing is, contentment or true happiness actually makes you more effective. It makes you perform better because it relieves you of undue pressure and stress. It actually makes you care more for others because you put selfishness (which comes from mundane happiness) aside. As a whole, being truly happy is not only good for yourself, but for others as well.

Don't believe me? Give it a try. And let me know what happens - I really wanna hear about it!


KSO Show

Oh my goodness... The KSO show was SO GOOD!

It was amazing! The dances were incredible! The show was worth every dollar spent. And the Korean beef dish was excellent too!

Would post pictures... All I need to do is to figure out how...

Saturday, February 16, 2008


Wooo! I really love ski-ing! Didn't realize it would be so fun!

Was my first time ever but Brandon dragged me to try the black diamond slope - it was insane! Went over a bump and flew for a few seconds before landing - without crashing!

Hehe... Quite proud of my achievement.. =P

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Deciphered the message!

Thanks so much Gloria, those words mean a lot to me!! =)

Thanks Gloria!

Got a lovely birthday card today half written in Chinese (of which I'm still busy deciphering...)

Will be displayed on my wall soon... =)

Thanks so much Gloria!!! =)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

10 Unwholesome Things to Get Rid Of

Of Action:
1) Killing
2) Stealing
3) Sexual Misconduct

Of Speech:
4) Lying
5) Harsh Speech
6) Slander
7) Malicious Gossip

Of Mind
8) Greed
9) Anger
10) Delusion

Renewing Precepts

Now sitting in a corner at Harper library, feeling very at peace with myself...

Realized that as humans, we go through ups and downs, and as we undergo that, we lose track of ourselves. I've just read an excellent book on the foundations of Buddhism "The Tree of Enlightenment" by Dr. Santina (although I'm really supposed to be doing my long-due hume paper. Here's a link to the book by the way:

Anyhow, after reading it, I've realized how much I have lost track of what truly is - but this is fine as everyone undergoes the same process. Hence, it's always good to refresh oneself. For me, this means renewing the precepts - I will do my best to:

1) Refrain from taking a life
2) Tell the truth
3) Refrain from stealing
4) Refrain from sexual misconduct
5) Refrain from indulging in intoxicants

I understand that I may of course not always follow the precepts absolutely, but with practice and constant renewing of them, I will definitely become a better person.

Ganbatte Adrian!


Thank you Sher Reen and Pui Ee!

Now I have two lovely birthday cards (and a Mr. Strong book) pasted on my room wall! They constantly remind me of the two of you and of all the happy moments we shared.

You guys rock la...

Monday, February 11, 2008

Missed Classes

Woo! Skipped all my classes today!

Figured it's better off for my well-being since I wouldn't be able to focus in class anyway.

On a further note, it's better for a person to find himself inside first before facing the outside world. Don't expect to find happiness from external objects, be happy within first. The same thing applies to health, make up CANNOT substitute for a healthy lifestyle.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Best Birthday Ever!

My god, I've just had the best-est birthday ever!~ Way, way beyond expectations!!!

First, went for a very nice Japanese dinner with the Malaysian family at Kikuya. Vincent, NJ and of course, brother Jay Sern treated me! It was really, really nice being able to catch up with all of you! After all we've been through, I'm glad we still can sit down and catch up with one another. ;)

Then, followed NJ to the SAMSU City Lights party. It was INSANE! Drank and danced and talked til around 4.30am! Got stripped, and had toothpaste all over me (hahhahaha...)

Gloria called me at 12am on the dot to wish me Happy Birthday!

Finally, woke up at 8am with headache and went for breakfast at the Pancake House with Hui Ying, Maggie and Jeffrey! It was fantabulous! They treated to me to yummy Mandarin crepes and then I had an apple pie as a birthday cake! Thank you Hui Ying for organizing the breakfast - I really appreciate it!

Woo! Then my family called me all the way from home and we had a webcam conference! They sang me a birthday song and 'presented' me my presents! I'm gonna be getting a HUGE card, my angpows and a golden key! =)

And to everyone out there who wished me happy birthday - thank you so much! You guys absolutely made my day!


Saturday, February 9, 2008


I'm slightly miffed after making a choice and then thinking of what could have been if I had taken the other path. But the thing is, once I have chosen one option, the other one is already closed to me. There is no point in contemplating what could have been. Still, I'm pissed. I can't possibly explain why - I just am. Logically, I shouldn't be, but I still am - I guess that's the frailty of human emotion.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm turning 21 this coming Sunday but strangely, I don't have any expectations for the day nor for the periods that follow.

Many people mark their 21st as an important event, and I used to think likewise too. But thinking seriously about it, the 21st birthday really doesn't matter that much to me. Age is just a measure of time, time is just a measure of change. Me turning 21 is just a matter of me changing, as I always am. Nothing big about it.

Hence, I have made a decision NOT to attempt anything special on my birthday, will just be happily working at the library, as I do every Sunday. It would be great if someone does take the initiative to celebrate it with me, and I would really, really appreciate it, but if no one does, it really does not matter. I have no expectations about it. Life still goes on, as it always does.