Moving On

Here's some interesting tidbit: Adrian Lim went to see a counselor - for the first time in his life! No, he's not suicidal, don't worry. He just wanted a different perspective of things. And he got it. =D

So here's the story: for the first time in his life also, Adrian really disliked someone. He was completely shocked to find out about it. The feeling completely overwhelmed him. It was crazy - how could Adrian ever hate someone? So he decided to take matters into his own hands, and solve the problem.

What the counselor (and many other friends) said made perfect sense. It takes time for someone to mourn over one's loss. And feeling resentful is part of it. So there you go. It's not really hatred - there's no anger involved - it's more like annoyance. Well, it took Adrian one whole year for this feeling to arise. Apparently he was just suppressing it over the last year. I guess it's because he didn't do a good job of distancing myself from the person properly. Lesson learned. Well, it's good that it's now rather than later.

Well, I have to say that it's important that the whole incident happened. I guess it's God's way of teaching me an important lesson - that boy girl relationships are fickle. There's no point pouring one whole's worth into them, particularly once a relationship has become poisonous. Instead, the time wasted can be used for something more productive, something more meaningful. Painful lesson, and still hurting and slowly learning from it, but I'm glad I went through the whole process.

So yes, speaking of doing something more productive and meaningful, this quarter has been great! The whole 'dislike issue' that I've described above may sound HUGE, but really, it's only taken a small portion of my time. Majority of the time has been spent very productively and positively! In retrospect, I'm really happy of what I've been doing so far this quarter. Here's a brief summary of what I've been up to:

(1) Staying on top of classes. So, for the last year or so, the incident psychologically affected me so badly, that it pretty much destroyed my academics. I spent so much time and energy thinking about it, that despite quiting all the activities I was involved in, I still could not focus on my studies at all. So, for this quarter, I am ultra hyped to participate fully in my classes. I haven't had the thrill of learning for so long - it feels really great to get it back! It doesn't matter if I ultimately end up doing so-so or badly, the point is, I am determined to fight for it. I will bounce back!

(2) Staying fit. I love exercising now. During the first week of this quarter, I came across an old comic book advertisement. It was an advertisement about 'Dynamic Tension', a body building program that doesn't require weights. I recalled wanting to do it as a kid, but couldn't afford it. Now's my lucky chance! I quickly downloaded the e-book, and committed myself to it. When I first started, it was really, really tiring at first, especially since the program required me to exercise daily day AND night. But now, I'm really proud of my progress. I started off with 20 push-ups a day. Now I can do 80! Even though I haven't really built any muscles, I feel so much fitter. Also, I can bend down and touch my toes!!! For me, these have been incredible milestones. You can laugh, but I've really been wanting to touch my toes for ages! =D

(3) Re-building friendships. Even though I'm incredibly busy this quarter, I realized I actually have more time for friends now because I'm not spending all my energy and time thinking over that 'incident'. This quarter, I've met a lot of new and interesting people who have added many memorable moments to my life. At the same time, I've very slowly but surely started re-building some friendships I've neglected over the past year. These people have always been there, but I've never had my eyes opened wide enough to appreciate them properly. Can't turn back time, but I'll do my best to cherish all the remaining moments with them. (PS: To those of you who were there for me at the beginning of this quarter, let me take this moment to say THANK YOU - I don't know what I would have done without you. I am truly, truly grateful.)

All in all, Adrian has had a most wonderful quarter. Of course, there have definitely been downs, one of the main ones being described right at the beginning of this post. But so much good has come out of this quarter, that Adrian is now much more positive and hopeful for the future. Can't wait for what comes ahead! Booyah!

Signing off,
Adrian =D