(14) Create "Patience Practice Periods"

Patience is a quality of heart that can be greatly enhanced with deliberate practice. An effective way that I have found to deepen my own practice is to create actual practice periods - periods of time that I set up in my mind to practice the art of patience. Life itself becomes a classroom, and the curriculum is patience.

You can start with as little as five minutes and build up your capacity for patience, over time. Start by saying to yourself, "Okay, for the next 5 minutes, I won't allow myself to be bothered by anything. I'll be patient." What you'll discover is truly amazing. Your intention to be patient, especially if you know it's only for a short while, immediately strengthens your capacity for patience. Patience is one of those special qualities where success feeds on itself. Once you reach little milestones - five minutes of successful patience - you'll begin to see that you do, indeed, have the capacity to be patient, even for longer periods of time. Over time, you may even become a patient person.

Since I have young children at home, I have many possibilities to practice the art of patience. For example, on a day when both girls are firing questions at me as I'm trying to make important phone calls, I'll say to myself, "Now is a great time to be patient. For the next half hour I'm going to be as patient as possible (see, I've worked hard, I'm up to thirty minutes)!"

All kidding aside, it really works - and it has worked in our family. As I keep my cool and don't allow myself to be annoyed and upset, I can calmly, yet firmly, direct my children's behavior far more effectively than when I get crazy. The simple act of gearing my mind toward patience allows me to remain in the present moment far more than I would if I were upset, thinking about all the times this has happened before and feeling like a martyr. What's more, my patient feelings are often contagious - they rub off on the kids, who then decide, on their own, that it's no fun to bother Dad.

Being patient allows me to keep my perspective. I can remember, even in the midst of a difficult situation, that what's before me - my present challenge - isn't "life or death" but simply a minor obstacle that must be dealt with. Without patience, the same scenario can become a major emergency complete with yelling, frustration, hurt feelings, and high blood pressure. It's really not worth all that. Whether you're needing to deal with children, your boss, or a difficult person or situation - if you don't want to "sweat the small stuff," improving your patience level is a great way to start.