Dealing with different people

It's been said that, "Treat others the way you want others to treat you". Well, today I learned that the saying does not necessarily hold true as different people require different ways of responding to them. I learned this through an amazing conversation with a friend of mine. According to the MBTI system, he is an ENTJ, whereas I am an ENFP. What was amazing about this conversation was that we discussed what made each of us drift into a downward depression spiral; and it turns out both of us had very different causes of what made each of us drift down this depression spiral.

For the ENTJ, what causes the drift is when a project overwhelms him and he gives up. The act of giving up is what causes him to lose faith and motivation in himself, leading to a downward spiral.

For the ENFP, what causes the drift is when he does not feel acknowledged or assured by others. When he is ignored, he loses faith and motivation in himself, leading to a downward spiral.

These very different causes of the downward spiral drift require very different responses to them.

For the ENTJ, the best way to bring him out of depression is by supporting him in establishing a routine or regime. This new routine or regime then becomes a project for the ENTJ, allowing the ENTJ to re-assert himself and become more confident.

For the ENFP, the best way to bring him out of depression is by giving him lots of assurances and admiration. This gives meaning to the ENFP, and encourages him to confidently get back to what he does best - inspire others.

Today's conversation really opened my eyes to how different people are. Different people really need different ways of responding to them. The old adage of treating others the way you want to be treated isn't necessarily correct after all. Wow.