A Quarter of Love

Last Friday, John Yoon, my bible studies partner and a dear friend, asked me what my focus for this quarter has been.

I gave it a thought.

"Love" I said.

Love has been the central theme for me this quarter (so far at least). It has been my running theme, there with me at every possible moment.

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Two aspects that Love has changed my life:

1) I have learned how to be present and listen deeply. Really, to love is to understand the person you are with - to truly feel what the person is feeling, to see what the person is seeing. Superficial understanding is not enough. It's inadequate for me to just nod my head and say "Mmm... I understand what you mean". I delve deeply, truly feeling what the person is saying, going under the person's skin, becoming the person myself. It makes a HUGE difference. Try it. It really does.

2) I have learned how to embrace my negative emotions and care for them, gradually transforming them with love. When unskillful states of mind, such as anger, greed and jealousy arises, I no longer suppress them nor let them overwhelm me. I am just there for them, aware of them, and gradually transform these energies into love and compassion. By understanding the emotion and the person I am angry at, am jealous for, these negative energies gradually change into positive ones. It works wonders.

Sometimes of course, I can't handle this by myself, and this is where the support of loving friends come in. I realize that I am so blessed to have the support of friends and family all this while. I am eternally indebted to them. You know who you are , and if you are reading this, THANK YOU.

It is so important to have a community built on love, where people are truly there for each other. To be there for each other, for no other reason than to be there, that's what support really means.

***

This has been an amazing quarter, it truly has been. Everything becomes so much meaningful when you embrace them with love. Relationships have become closer, so much deeper. I have made new meaningful relationships, reforged old ones and am so grateful for that. The world becomes a much more beautiful place. The simple things in life bring joy to my heart.

Some time ago, I commented on how wishy-washy love is, such a sappy, fake concept. I thought that people just pretended to love, but really, it's because they wanted something from each other.

"There is no room for love in the strife for success." - Adrian Lim, SMDJ school canteen, 2004

Interesting how things change. This has been one of the most satisfying quarters I've had. With all my heart, it has been. Will it continue this way? Who knows? But I don't worry any more. Dwell in the present I do. For now, I am truly happy.

Thank you Love.